Welcome to the Home page of my website and blog. My name is Jennifer Brownson.
I am here in the middle of ‘nowhere’ in the North Eastern Arizona high country on my new 40 acre home that I purchased in March 2016. When I arrived here, I had no running water, shower, or flush toilet, a leaky roof on the unfinished shelter, and only enough solar power to feed my laptop, cell phone, and cordless drill. I was seriously questioning what I had gotten myself into. I could tell that this decision to follow my desires was going to be full of challenges. And it has–even more than I imagined, but with God’s help, I am hoping it is be an adventure worth sharing.
So here’s the story. Finally, after 50 years, I am acting on something that I have wanted to do for most of my life. I call it my dream. (What that has evolved into, I will explain in a moment.) Over the years, I have had one excuse or another to put it off. Money of course was one issue. How can I follow my dream when my resources are so limited? Or at least seemed so limited.
A major part of this dream was that I wanted to have a nice big block of land to live and play on. I searched the whole country via the internet for places to live where I could be away from major cities, where acreage was still available, and that had a relatively mild climate. There wasn’t much, especially in my price range. I only had around $25,000 and my Subaru. Arizona, however, was advertising raw ranch land for very low prices. There was good reason it was so cheap, mostly because of difficulty getting water. Still I was intrigued by the simple beauty of the wide open spaces. Something felt right here, so I investigated further.
There were so many properties in my price range that I just knew there had to be one for me. With all my heart, I wanted to find my home. So I took a leap of faith and just decided to ship a u-box (an 8’x 4’x 6′ crate) of my stuff to the general area I was drawn to (North Eastern Arizona), found a rental on Craigslist, sold my Subaru for a 15 year old truck, and drove to Arizona.
So what is my dream?
My Dream started when I was a kid. I always wanted to live a simple life in the distant country side in harmony with nature. I loved shows like Grizzly Adams and Little House on the Prairie. I was also the kind of kid who wanted to know how things worked, and I pondered the big questions, like ‘Why are we here?’, ‘Where did we come from?’, ‘Who or what is God, really?’, and ‘What is the truth about Jesus?’ The Catholic Church, which I was born into, did not provide the answers. Its teachings were inconsistent and often didn’t make sense.
I longed for answers. I went to the University of California at Davis for 6 years, and earned a Bachelor of Science degree and a teaching credential in Agricultural Education. I discovered I really loved teaching, but I disagreed with many of the agriculture practices I was taught in university–and I was determined to learn about more ecological ways of living and growing food. After graduating (and working for one year with a landscape company), I traveled to many other countries, spent time in nature, lived for a year on a Biodynamic farm as an apprentice, and discovered that I loved growing my own food, working with nature, and living a healthy, simple lifestyle. In my thirties, I became keenly interested in Permaculture, natural building, natural healthcare and spirituality. In my forties, while still seeking answers, I continued learning about Permaculture and sustainable living, raised chickens and Nubian goats, and added deep-tissue massage therapy and music to my passions.
My dream of living a truly happy, spiritually-centered, sustainable life in harmony with nature was evolving, but the spiritual part was eluding me–I hadn’t found spiritual Truth that made sense or that felt right in my heart. I explored Catholicism, Christianity, Anthroposophy, Buddhism, Native American teachings, several New Age philosophies, The Power of Gratitude, Christian Mysticism, Abraham Teachings, A Course in Miracles, and The Way of the Heart, and ultimately found each one lacking.
Then, near the end of 2009, I was introduced to some teachings called the Divine Truth that were offered by a man and a woman who were claiming to be the reincarnated Jesus and Mary Magdalene. That was quite a claim so I didn’t expect them to be for real. But I was curious, so I followed a link to their lectures which are all given away for free on youtube. When I heard the first lecture, an introduction to Divine Truth (http://youtu.be/WWbQyPvjkwA) my little heart leapt for joy. The man, who’s given name is Alan John ‘AJ’ Miller, was speaking what felt like real Truth. I thirsted for more, and over that first year, I think I listened to every lecture on youtube. He and Mary, who’s given name is Mary Suzanne Luck, have, over the course of these last 7 years brought me such hope as they have taught what I now believe is God’s Truth. They teach how to have a personal relationship with God and align one’s self with God’s version of Love and Truth. And when we do this, our souls will become truly loving, we will have a true relationship with God, and our lives will become amazing. And if enough of us do it, this world can be a loving place to live. I want that!
The Divine Truth answers those difficult questions I have carried around for so long. It answers them with precision and love, and it all fits together into a complete picture of how thoroughly and deeply our Creator loves us. So now I have found what I have been looking for spiritually, and it feels like the real deal, God’s Truth, and my desire is becoming a reality. Since learning about and experimenting with Divine Truth, I realize that my desire to live in harmony with nature is very much aligned with how God would like us to live, and living such a lifestyle will support me in developing a loving relationship with God, which is the core of Divine Truth. As I learn to make my relationship with God a priority, and work through my blocks to God, God will be able to teach me how to love, how to express my unique soul, how to live harmoniously within God’s Laws, and how I can help bring more Divine Love and Truth to this world.
It turns out that this path towards God is more challenging and confronting than I thought it would be. My biggest challenge has been opening to the truth about myself. I have far more damage and unloving errors in my soul than I ever imagined. All that error must be released emotionally by letting myself feel it, but the truth of it must seen and felt first. We absolutely must desire God’s truth about ourselves and our lives before we can heal and grow in love. But God’s Laws are always working to support us in our progress towards love, so eventually the truth does come, even if, due to my resistance, it feels like a 2×4 over the head (see Truth I Haven’t wanted to See). So, slowly, I am working through layers of anger, rage, shame, superiority, control, self judgement, terror, grief etc. It all needs to come out if I want to align with God and live a truly happy life.
Another essential part of my dream is to meet up with my soul mate. I prayed to God to help me find a place that would bring me closer to my soul mate–it could be physically closer, or it could be finding a place that would confront as many addictions as possible, so i could clear them and thus emotionally move closer to finding my soulmate. I left those details up to God, and did my best to follow my heart to a place that felt right.
Shortly after arriving here, I did meet a man, and we dated for a few months but there was a lack of desire to address some issues of love, so we needed to go our separate ways. If he is my soul mate, we will eventually come around as we grow in Love (God’s definition, that is). If he is not my soul mate, then I will keep working towards God and Love until my true soul mate and I are drawn together.
So as I was searching for my soul-sanctuary new home, things just sort of fell into place. Where I thought I was headed didn’t happen due to too much mud on the roads, so I found myself looking in other areas. Then I saw this property.
It stood out for me for a number of reasons. It felt good. It had a unique rugged beauty. I loved the rocks! And it certainly could use big doses of Love. You see, the land, although beautiful to me, was quite damaged, neglected, dry, limited in abundance, and even plagued with garbage. I recognized that it might perfectly reflect my current soul condition! What a great demonstration of God’s loving hand if we can both heal and thrive as I grow my soul towards God and Love.
In my land search up to this point, I thought I would only be able to afford raw land, and was prepared to camp until I got enough money together for a shelter. But it turned out that this land had a partially completed straw-bale hogan* on it that, although only in rough stage, was livable. And the property had a well! And some solar power! And a seller willing to work with me! Clearly God and my soul were in harmony here.
I am learning that when our desires are aligned with God’s loving Laws, good things happen.I am learning that God’s Love can heal all things if we align with it. And the dream I have is now becoming more clear. I want to experience that Love.
I want to build a relationship with God, heal my soul, create a self-responsible life, develop my various desires and passions and ultimately create a Divine Truth Learning Center. I plan to document this journey through videotape, photos, and writing, so even if change happens slowly, the documentation will show the truth and hopefully inspire others to seek God’s Way.
So this website and blog is a way to share this journey. And I welcome you to join me as you so desire. It feels like it is going to be a long journey, and, I suspect, a rich one, with many wonderful surprises and outcomes.
I welcome you to read more about God’s Way in the About God’s Way page in the menu, and to read about some of my adventures in my blog. Newest posts are at the top of the page. You can also receive notifications of new blog posts by registering your email on the bottom of this page.
Until next time,
*A hogan is an eight sided dwelling, common to the native people of this land, the Navajo, the Apache and the Zuni. My home has a hogan heart with wings (I love the symbol of that).